Approval mindset: How to Kick it in the Balls to Find Peace

Have you ever lived in a hell of your own creation? That is when you know that you have hit rock bottom. This was my teenage years to early twenties. I felt defeated, worthless and alone.

How do I find happiness and overcome this anxiety? I refuse to let my anxiety control me. I hate myself for being so shy and anxious. Isolation seems to be my only solace from the ache in my heart. 

I see a happy crowd around me. Maybe If I be like them, I can be happy too.

Wrong. The anxiety and fear of social interactions intensifies.

I failed to fit in and it crushed my heart. “It’s true. You are a weak, coward and a loser. Why can’t you just get over it and be more social? I’d tell myself”

Female legs and a soccer ball

The Search for Truth Begins

“Struggle is our greatest compass to find lasting peace.”

I’m tired of living the lie of fitting in. This is a pursuit of happiness, not approval. There must be truth out there.

Find the culprit

The approval mindset is the culprit behind my heartache. The approval mindset is like using a band-aid to stop the bleeding of the heart. Happiness comes from within. You don’t gain it through the approval of others. It makes you feel worse about yourself. You lose the confidence in your abilities.

Let go

Letting go of the approval frees your mind and encourages you to search for truth. You find the answers to your struggles. It brings you peace and leads you to living a meaningful life. You will never be good enough by following the crowd. You don’t win a persons acceptance. You gain their respect by remaining true to who you are.

The Master of Deception

It’s greatest weapon of deception is temporary satisfaction. It temps you by giving you small bits of happiness for a while. Then, it rips it from your grasp until your soul is empty of meaning and your identity is non existent.

How to Defeat the Approval mindset

It took me many years to find my enemy and learn how to defeat it. I needed to find a way to relieve the intense anxiety to find contentment and live in peace. I found a battle plan to fight the sly tactics of the approval mindset.

Slay the Dragon of Perception

To find truth we must peel back the perception layer. This is our comfort zone. Our first set of emotions that we want to accept as truth. This is the place where popular opinion influences us the greatest. We must ask ourselves, “Is there truth to this?”

The approval mindset shuts down your creative and critical thinking. Your perceptions become your reality. Facts and history and history no longer matter. Beliefs and values are no longer cherished.

Strong, defined values

I have always had high expectations for myself but there was no room for failure. You cannot meet all the expectations of others. I ran from my values for too long. It was time to embrace them. You can run from your beliefs or you can embrace them. We must challenge our beliefs. It disrupts our comfort levels but It’s essential to our growth as human beings. I believed in temporary satisfaction. Fitting in allows our values to change. This brings you misery. That is why we must rely on you values to find contentment.

Love, honor, and integrity are the values that define who I am. Love is my driving force. I strive to bring people together. You cannot have love without honor and integrity. It is authentic love is what brings lasting happiness to our lives. It brings out the best in us without expectation. Authentic love forms the strongest, intimate connections. We must embrace our differences. We do this by sharing stories and learning from one another.

Challenge #1: List out your top five strongest beliefs. Challenge them in every way possible. Write down the positive and negative aspects of your beliefs. Why do you choose to believe what you believe? Do these beliefs support your strongest held values?


Pretend to be Sherlock Holmes. Don’t accept anything until you understand the facts. Ten minutes of research can enlighten you. Facts are not always wrapped and presented to you with a pretty little bow.


Absorbing the knowledge from history is the best way to uncover the lies people tells us. History is the ultimate lie detector test for the present day. History has a tendency to repeat itself. That is why we must have a firm understanding of history.


Question everything. Question your beliefs, emotions, actions, reasoning, and motivations. You do not need to be conspiracy theorist. When you burn of unanswered questions, than you are on the right track to finding truth.

Challenge #2: Read an article or book from someone you don’t agree with. This is an idea you never cared to look into. What questions come to your mind as you read it? What are the things that you disagree with the strongest? Why? Can you back up your reasoning through facts, history, and values?

What has been your experience been like battling the approval/fit in mindset? Share in the comments.


What do you stand for?

Why is Donald Trump so popular? Because he’s such a winner and a gentlemen. No. We are angry with the dirt bag politicians who betray us and we fear for America’s future. Trusting a politician is like putting your trust in a crack head with your life savings. We want an outsider to make this country great again. It’s time for the American people to get the win.

Popularity is the problem

Fear and anger is the popular emotion fueling our hearts in this country. Donald Trump is feeding off our anger like a bloodsucker. Slim ball politicians gain popularity by manipulating our emotions.

Popularity is destroying society. It’s time to wake up!   

My pursuit of popularity stole my identity and drained the hope from my soul. It led me to a dark place of isolation and pain. The ache in my heart to belong created a rage towards myself.

“Why do you want to be popular when it’s tearing you up inside?”_

Emotion is like chemistry; it can be fatal without the right combination.  It requires reason to become a force for good. Our emotions can corrupt our decisions and we overlook facts, logic, and reason.

Return to principles

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself; nothing, but the triumph of principles.” Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I looked to others for validation of my self-worth. I couldn’t find the meaning to my life and it brought me misery.

It became clear to who I am when I explored what I stand for. Staying true to who you are creates a stronger connection with people.

I stand for honor, honesty, integrity, respect, family, and love. I believe in the American principle of freedom of the individual, liberty, and justice.

Donald Trump stands for Power, Arrogance, Anger, Vengeance, and Vanity.

Can you align yourself with those principles? 

Trump is vindictive towards those that don’t agree with him. His obsession with his own self-importance trumps respect for others and integrity.

You can’t trust a person if there actions and words don’t support quality principles.

We must remain strong and stand for our quality principles. Our principles and values give our life meaning and bring people together.

Challenge beliefs to a duel

We want the pain to stop and we turn to emotions like anger for a quick fix. This leads to betraying our principles and values.

How far do we push our minds on a daily basis? 

Our minds need a daily boot camp to challenge our minds and beliefs to break us down and build us back up again.

We can make this country great again by standing for integrity and freedom.

That is why we must stand with those who fight for Our Constitution.

It’s unpopular but it’s the right thing to do.

Will you join me and stand for what’s right, even when it’s unpopular?